Canada's Guide to a More Confident Womanhood
by Emo Vampire Chic
Summary: This is a pure Crack one shot, i wrote it when a friend and i were talking and some how got on the subject of Canada writing a self help book...then this was made...there are a few pairings mentioned but thy arent important CanadaxUkraine and FACE/FrUk


**Canada's Guide to a More Confident Womanhood**

By Canada (Matthew Williams)

Hi I'm Matthew Williams most commonly known as the country Canada. I know what it's like to feel like you are fading in to the background, trust me I know it all too well. But ladies, I'm here to help you by giving you a whole bunch of tips on how to get noticed.

**Step 1: **Feel pretty. You can't expect people to like you if you hate yourself. You need to be happy with your appearance, but that doesn't mean you have to copy someone else's style, be original, you could do this by adding a curl to your daily hair style, wearing a sweatshirt with your favorite thing on it (a maple leaf :3) or if people still don't know who the hell you are, get a recognizable tattoo on your forehead, there is no way anyone could miss that (Beware of friends who would want to tamper with your awesome tattoo). My girlfriend Ukraine is very open with herself, she is very weird, so weird that she even scares her brother, who even scares me, but she doesn't hide it. She also has a huge… heart, but she is not embarrassed by it, she acts like they aren't even there, Britain (My dad) even says that it may be the best feature about her, he is so nice complimenting her personality, or at least I think that is what he is saying.

**Step2: **Make friends. My other pop France once told me that making friends is as easy assaying "Hey, Do you want to bear my children?" I'm…actually not sure how well this works, but France…sure does have a lot of friends. He also told me that showing your butt is a good way of keeping friends but that hasn't exactly worked for me in the past. I guess that's maybe something that girls are suppose to do, it just seems odd to me. In my opinion if you just sit in a room quietly smiling then people will like you. Nobody has really said anything mean to me (except Cuba) but then again no one knows who I am…

**Step3: **Talk the talk. Now that you have friends its probably in best interest to talk to them. It's best to talk about things that you think you'll have in common for example: anime, scary movies, food, funny jokes, or just gossip. Now that sounds pretty easy, but let's say that you're talking to someone you like, a cute girl or boy. This can get really awkward. In fact your heart will probably be beating like crazy the whole time, but this is no reason to avoid it, boys like confident girls.

However you can't only keep hot people around you though…once again that's what my papa France does. Just be yourself around your friend, that's what they are there for, to have your back and allow you to be who you are. However you should always know who your friends are for example if they beat you up all the time because the mistake you for your twin brother after you clearly tell them that YOU ARE CANADA NOT AMERICA! I won't name any names… (Cuba) or if they happen to never remember who you are even though you have been with them for as long as you have been able to remember…then maybe you aren't hanging out with the right people, unless they happen to be a small adorable little polar bear, then I guess you'd be able to put up with it. (KUMA 3)

**Step4: **My brother Alfred is always saying be the Hero and while he usually follows with him either shouting IM THE HERO! Or stuffing down cheese burgers and chugging soda, he may not know it but it does have some insightful meaning, but don't tell him that, unless you want to hear a whole big speech on how he is better than you. What is one thing that both Alfred and most heroes have, an ego, most of them will play it off (not America) but they all know how awesome they are, and sometimes you need to feed your ego, sometimes you just need to be like a friend of mine named Prussia and just state how awesome you are, and rub in everyone else's face, however this is just something to do every once and a while. After all you don't want to become an asshole, but if for some reason you want to be an asshole, feel free to go around mentioning how awesome you are, how much everyone else sucks, and if you really want to be awesome you can repeatedly smack someone in the head when they fail. France does this every once in a while, while my brother does everything else. I guess you could say I have a family of ass holes -_-

Following these step you shall achieve confident womanhoods! Thanks for reading!


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